May the 4th is Star Wars Day. Here's why that matters to my family.

May 4 is Star Wars Day. May the fourth. May the “fourth” be with you.

May the 4^th is a celebratory day in my family. Let me share a few points to illustrate.

• My husband has been a Star Wars fan since he saw “The Empire Strikes Back” at a UWM theater when he was 4 years old. When he was young, every trip to his neighborhood library ended with him checking out a Star Wars movie on VHS — even though he already owned all of them.
• I wasn’t as much of a Star Wars fan, but I was happy enough to support his fandom that I accompanied him to each of the original Star Wars trilogy re-releases on opening night when we were dating. Plus opening night of each of the prequel trilogy moves. Plus two Star Wars conventions.
• My daughters have inherited (or maybe have been gently indoctrinated into) their father’s love of Star Wars. My older daughter’s first Halloween costume? An Ewok. My younger daughter’s most recent birthday party theme?  The animated TV show, “Star Wars: The Clone Wars.” They have watched every Star Wars movie, every episode of every Star Wars TV show and played every Star Wars video game with my husband.
• Since the pandemic gifted us with more time together (and made me a more captive audience), my family has finally fully converted me from good-natured Star Wars tag-along, with a decent understanding of the basic lore, to full-on Star Wars fangirl with decided opinions on favorite movies, TV shows and characters.

So you can imagine our delight when my older daughter started college this past fall and one of her first classes was “The Philosophy of Star Wars.”

This was right up our alley since one of the reasons we enjoy Star Wars so much is our affinity for story analysis. Many of my family’s conversations revolve around Star Wars character motivations, story arcs and, yes, philosophy.

There are countless famous quotes that encapsulate Star Wars philosophy.

With “Do or do not. There is no try,” Yoda cautions that a fear of failure can prevent achievement.

When Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Anakin that “Only a Sith deals in absolutes,” he’s valuing the recognition of nuance.

And of course “May the force be with you” is a comforting reminder of the interconnectedness of all living things.

But here’s my current favorite quote, the one that makes me cry whenever I hear it, the one that shows the intersection between Star Wars philosophy and my parenting philosophy.

In the Star Wars TV series, “Andor,” the main character, Cassian, has had some disagreements with his mother. When he gets the devastating news that his mother has died, Cassian’s friend tells him his mother’s final message to him:

“Tell him I love him more than anything he could ever do wrong.”

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more perfect description of unconditional love.

The Star Wars universe is filled with complicated families. Most of our encounters aren’t as fraught as the parent-child relationship of Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker. But real life includes plenty of disagreements, plenty of value conflicts and plenty of arguments.  

There’s also plenty of love. As my own relationship with my children has matured, I’ve become very aware of the fact that those conflicts and that love don’t cancel each other out. They exist at the same time.

When my daughters have experienced self-doubt, have felt guilty for mistakes they’ve made or have felt insecure in their relationship with me, I’ve often searched for the words to tell them I might not always agree with their decisions, or I might dispute their interpretation of a situation, but that will never change the love I feel for them.

And then this Star Wars TV show came along and did the work for me. Not only are the words perfect, but our shared Star Wars fandom makes the reference that much more special. And that’s why we celebrate Star Wars. May the force be with you.

More:Your 'Star Wars' loving child might actually be a Jedi. Here's why.